Thoughts from Thursday's Child

Thursday's Child has far to go

A purposeful heart in relationships … step 2

on October 6, 2014

I want to MAKE a difference.

I want to BE different.

If I won’t change then things won’t change.

The second relationship I wanted to focus on was my time with my family – my husband and children.

We’ve been married for 21 years – don’t applaud, it’s been through stubbornness on both our parts that we’ve got this far!

(He jokes that jail time for a life sentence would mean he would be ‘free’ now. I respond with the comment that I pray for peace because if I pray for strength somebody is going to get hurt – ha, ha!)

I first fell in love with him because he made me laugh (his blue eyes and smile came in second and third…)

There are days when he still sets off butterflies in my stomach but after 21 years our relationship had changed from the twitter-patted spring of first love to a little bit of the old “taken-for-granted” scenario. I am passionate about my husband and how much I love him but I had stopped showing him. I needed to be more purposeful in my marriage if I wanted more ‘butterflies’ and less ‘margarine’. (If that analogy is too much, think about it a little bit longer, I think you’ll get it 🙂 )

My heart for my husband:

The rhythm of life meant we often missed out on quality time together. That needed to change. I am making time to be with him, living, loving, walking and talking. We’re  reuniting our hearts as we plan for our family’s future, reminisce about the past and enjoy the present.

Everything I did and my focus each day had been built around what is best for them, what I can do for them – from getting up in the morning, getting them to school and work, what to feed them, driving them to activities, accommodating their social lives and transport needs… I felt left out of the picture as they don’t necessarily ‘SEE’ what I am doing or that I do it because I love them.

My heart for my children:

By focusing on my actual relationship with them and not what I do for them, I find time to spend with each of them individually and purposefully, giving them quality time and attention. I am loving it and feel closer to them. I am finding that I am learning more about them as well. As they are teenagers it can only be a good thing, right?

I will listen to my heart.

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