Close your eyes …

in my younger days there were song lyrics that started with ‘”Close your eyes and I’ll kiss you….”

Have you noticed in kissing scenes in most movies the characters close their eyes as they come in for that intimate moment, their lips touch and it feels like time stops. That first kiss can change everything, all focus is on that moment and they don’t see it because their eyes are closed.

If eyes are the windows to the soul, why do we close them off to someone we are sharing an intimate moment with?

It made me think about other times I close my eyes –

• when I towel dry my hair (I didn’t know you can actually see through the weave in a towel, it’s kind of cool),

• when I sneeze (nobody can keep their eyes open when they sneeze. It’s a good cover if you go through an orange traffic light – not that I’ve ever used it to get out of a fine or anything…)

• when I’m praying (it’s kind of silly because God can see you anyway but it helps me focus on Him)

• when I’m disappointed or angry (I try to breathe, wait before I speak and count to 10, it seems to be easier with my eyes closed)

• when I fall asleep in front of the TV (I think I get that from my dad – lol)

And speaking of TV, while I was debating over why we close our eyes at intimate moments, I tuned into a program called “Look Into My Eyes”.

Part of the program is where two people who haven’t either seen or connected with each for some time, for whatever personal reasons have befallen their relationship, meet in a room with only two chairs and spend 60 seconds staring into each others’ eyes. It’s interesting to hear what they report back as having seen in the other persons’ eyes. From there, they decide if they want to talk to each other and/or reconnect.

Talking with someone face to face is an incredible opportunity to look into their eyes and truly connect. I believe there is a lot you can tell about someone looking into their eyes and I’m not talking just about their eye colour (although that fascinates me – my grandfather had the most amazing blue eyes. I thought my eyes were kind of average but I like the term ‘hazel’ now)

Do you remember the days when you would meet someone face to face and, as you spoke, you would look at each other, catch each other’s eyes and feel closer as a result? These are the times spent with the people who become your best friend, your life partner or someone who is very special to you at at time that becomes very special (most recently for me it was with a family member, shortly before they passed away. The eyes really are the mirrors to the soul in that moment …)

But there are other times I close my eyes …

• I don’t want to face anything negative around me
• I don’t want to face drama and tension
• I don’t want to face pain and suffering
• Sometimes, I don’t even want to face reality (have you ever felt like that? I don’t want to think I’m the only one …)

These are the times I need to be brave enough to open my eyes and truly see the intimacy in these moments. so I don’t miss a thing (sounds like another song lyric…lol!).

So, tell me, what do you see? Do you live with your eyes open or closed?

Starting again…again

On my road to ‘finding myself’ over the last 6 years, I have discovered some interesting things I didn’t know about who I am and why I am. These self realizations are taking me to new heights, new depths and on new paths that excite me, scare me, challenge me and sometimes, even defeat me. Are there others out there who are travelling on the same journey – before me, beside me and behind me?

A multitude of words tumble inside my head and my heart and, like many people, I have thoughts, feelings, opinions (lol!) but I silence my own voice as irrational fears (rejection, disappointment, disillusionment, you name it, I’ve felt it!) override my passion to ‘say what I want to say’.

Just the other day, I caught myself wanting to comment on something a close family member said but, I found myself shoving a biscuit in my mouth so I didn’t speak out. This brought about two light bulb moments for me –

1. I ‘eat’ my emotions (and that’s a lousy way to diet – lol)
2. I am not being true to those around me if I don’t speak out. My silence is taken as acceptance but that’s not always my truth.

I hunger for a way to express myself, share myself. The burning desire to put words ‘out there’ and not just dictate to myself in my head. To ‘be real’ in life, to live the ‘real me’.

So, it brings me back to here – starting again… again – Thursday’s Child has far to go.

Who’s along for the ride?