Lessons Learned

Well, it has been a long time since I have been on this page…..

To give you a quick update – I lost my voice. Not literally, but I realised a few years ago that the words inside my head, heart and spirit were not being expressed. I had pushed them down, locked them up, sealed them away. I didn’t know how to say what I was feeling or thinking, I couldn’t express my opinions and, if I did, my carefully edited and strained words fell on deaf ears.

So began a journey to find the missing part of me, actually – to find myself. I used to think that was a trite quip people dragged out to excuse their irrational behaviour that couldn’t be explained any other way. For me, I realised, my days were not how I thought they would be, my future was unclear and my past … let’s just say, that was a long time ago, I didn’t even remember who that girl was.

And a lightbulb went off! Who was I? I couldn’t understand the person I had become, she was without joy, without purpose, drifting into a future she couldn’t see. Stop the merry-go-round, I want to get off!

I’ve always found inspiration and revelation not only in unusual places but, in waves of confirmation from various sources. This was no different – ‘ The Runaway Bride’. You know the one, Julia Roberts and Richard Gere? After Julia’s character runs away from every wedding she was supposed to be married at, a reporter (Richard’s character) interviews her jilted grooms with a question – how does she like her eggs?

TBH, I don’t like eggs unless they are in a pavlova, cake or pancakes (you get the idea … lol) but it made me realise – I didn’t know what I liked or wanted anymore. Part of me was missing -she’d disappeared in a revolving door of mothering, marriage and the mundane. I don’t want it to sound like I didn’t like my life – I did and I do – but my heart, head and spirit, the parts that made me ME, had gone silent, lost in the noise of everybody else.

Over the next few epistles, I am hoping to unpack Lessons Learned …

if you want to read more, please like and share this blog, send me a comment or a message and let’s find ourselves together!

---